Sunday, October 21, 2007

Perfect Creature

Perfect Creature's IMDB Page

Let the blood be one, and the two races join as a perfect creature.

Welcome to an alternate reality where vampirism was discovered to be a genetic anomaly some 300 years ago and was accepted by the church as a blessing from God. Now these vampire "brothers" roam the disease filled and technologically backward streets of New Zealand protecting and serving mankind until one finds his true vampire spirit and changes things forever. *yawn* This film tried to capitalize on the successes of Peter Jackson's New Zealand film making spirit, but it really takes itself too seriously and the story drags on. It's only about 90 minutes long, but it's hard to remain focused after about 60 if you have any distractions (i.e. computer, food, video games, etc.) and isn't all that fun for a horror movie. If you are looking for a film to lull you to sleep like your mother's childhood lullabies, this would do just fine. Otherwise, don't waste your time.

BigBoyMovieReviews Scores


2 skulls


2 Fiery Explosions

BigBoyMovieReviews Grand Total


Poltergeist II: The Other Side

Poltergeist II: The Other Side's IMDB Page

They're baaaack!

In this film we get to revisit the Freeling family now living at Diane's mother's house and trying to live as normally as they can after the events that took place in their former home. The thing is, Kane (we now have a name for the leader of the ghosts trying to be led into the light) really likes Carol Anne and isn't too keen on letting her get away so easily.

It's hard to believe that the only actor from the original film with any talent that they brought back was Craig T. Nelson, but be thankful that they did. He carries the picture single handedly through the sections that are not loaded with special effects. The special effects are pretty cool, though. Designed and produced by Boss Film Studios (Their film debut was Ghostbusters) they kept in step with the theme set in the original film pretty well (until the flying chainsaw attack). If you loved the original and you don't want to taint its image, maybe you should avoid this one at the local video store. If you want to watch it anyway, get some crackers because the family unity theme gets real cheesey.

BigBoyMovieReviews Scores


2.5 skulls



BigBoyMovieReviews Grand Total


Thursday, October 18, 2007

Cube Zero

Cube Zero's IMDB Page

I wanna go back.

In this third installment in the Cube franchise the filmmakers take us deeper into the story surrounding the Cube where we meet a couple of guys whose job it is to monitor and control what goes on within the puzzle. This film has a lot more in common with the Cube than it does with Cube 2: Hypercube in that it doesn't try to overwhelm the audience with overly complex scientific jargon. Brutal and full of graphic carnage and violence, this is not a bad way to wrap(?) the story up, certainly better than leaving it after the second one. And it includes a real villain, with a funny glass eye. Cube Zerois not the greatest horror film ever, but better than a lot of them and worth the time to watch if you liked the original.

BigBoyMovieReviews Scores


2.5 laser cannons


3 skulls

BigBoyMovieReviews Grand Total


Monday, October 15, 2007

House of Wax (2005)

House of Wax's IMDB Page

Yeah, let's follow the smell.

A group of teens are road-tripping to see a football game when one of them uses his GPS in his Cadillac truck to find a short-cut. Cadillac truck? How many teens have those? Anyway, they decide to camp in a remote meadow when they are surprised by the sudden appearance of a truck with its high beams on that won't go away and the driver won't answer them. Oooo, spooky. Fast forward to the next day when some of them stumble across a town with a very realistic House of Wax.

This film is inspired by a 1953 Vincent Price film of the same name, but with more modern twists (like teenagers with Cadillac trucks and GPS). It features the acting talents of quite a few young Hollywood star and starlets that we probably won't have to endure for too many years, which is usually the case with the young and attractive that don't have too much character range or depth. But that totally works for a horror movie. Who remembers the victims names? Paris Hilton once again displays the only thing that she's good for. Dumb blond eye candy. She does run around in her underwear in a scene that would fit quite nicely into any old school slasher flick, entertaining on many levels. The most has to be said about the direction and special effects. Jaume Collet-Serra bucked the modern trend to digitally render everything and went with a more old school, organic approach. The violence in House of Wax is more graphic and bloody than what goes into a lot of horror today, and that's what makes the film worth watching. If you want to watch good movie made in the style of the classic bloody horrors of yesteryear, this one should be on your list.

House of Wax's Scores


3.5 skulls

BigBoyMovieReviews Grand Total

3.5 + 2.5 (fun factor, and the fact that it doesn't have any other genre listings)= 6

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

The Exorcism of Emily Rose's IMDB Page

I am Lucifer, The Devil in the flesh!

This movie is another one that carries with it the "based on a true story" tag. In this film we see the trial of Father Moore, a Catholic Priest on trial for the negligent homicide of a young college girl. Emily Rose was a 19 year old college student who becomes the victim of what some believe to be a demonic possession, and what others believe be some kind of epileptic psychosis. This film takes a lot from The Exorcist in the form of what a possessed girl looks like and does. On that same note Jennifer Carpenter does a fantastic job on both aspects of her role as the title character Emily Rose. The energy she puts into the sequences where she is under total demonic control (or seizing epileptic) is impressive. In order to tell the story of Emily Rose during the trial for her murder the filmmakers chose to include quite a few flashback sequences, which can hurt films but seems to work for this story. As with most larger budget Hollywood horror films, this one puts a strong emphasis on the dramatic with long dialog scenes where the "serious actors" can show why they are worth the big bucks. Final say on this one is that it probably won't ever be a classic, but there rarely are anymore in the horror genre. If you see this one on the bargain rack at your local video store or as a cheap, pre-played DVD go ahead and buy it. It's not a bad way to spend 2 hours on a rainy weekend afternoon.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose's Scores


3 skulls


3 (still looking for something to rank drama with, any suggestions would be appreciated)

BigBoyMovieReviews Grand Total


Sunday, October 14, 2007

Quicksilver Highway

Quicksilver Highway's IMDB Page


Do have time for a story?

In keeping with the recent Stephen King trend here at BigBoyMovieReviews we bring you Quicksilver Highway, a made for TV pairing of two stories hosted and narrated by a man who should be given more creepy parts, Christopher Lloyd.

Chattery Teeth (by BigBoy favorite Stephen King) tells the story of a traveling salesman who has had a string bad "bad experiences" and is trying to drive home through a Nevada sandstorm to get home in time for his son's birthday. While at a truck stop he is approached by a man asking for a ride. Now, as was stated earlier, this semi-uptight salesman has had a string of "bad experiences" which have caused him to choose driving as opposed to flying and to have a preference not to pick up hitchhikers, but he chooses to give this guy a lift under the circumstances (Mr. King likes this hithchhiker theme, and goes with it often). This story is not entirely unpredictable, in fact it is downright predictable if you are even slightly familiar with Stephen King's short stories.

The second tale is based on Clive Barkers The Body olitic. In this tale we meet a very successful cosmetic surgeon who's hands rebel. As a surgeon this is a very bad thing. This movie entertains us with some very Evil Dead-like sequences where Dr. George (played by Matt Frewer, of Max Headroom fame) does battle with his own hands, only to end in bloody carnage. Not a real nail biter, but the special effects are pretty funny.

All in all this one isn't the most horrific DVD you can watch, but it is fun. Quicksilver Highway is a good option if you want something to watch while you do things around the house, as it doesn't require you to focus on anything too much for fear of missing important details.

Quicksilver Highway's Scores


2 skulls

BigBoyMovieReviews Grand Total

2+2 because there are no other genre listings but it is genuinely fun= 4

Stephen King's Children of the Corn

Children of the Corn's IMDB Page

Bring him the blood of the outlanders! Praise God! Praise The Lord!

In the town of Gatlin, Nebraska there is a new minister in town. The boy preacher Isaac (the actor, John Franklin born 16 June 1959, was actually about 25 when the film was released) has inspired the children to rise up against the amoral life that adulthood carries with it by speaking in old school grammar not unlike Yoda. He has them slaughter the all adults in a sacrifice to He who walks behind the rows and bring back prosperity and corn to their corn-fed town. His instrument of torment/right hand man is Malachai, and nothing is scarier than a ginger with a chip on his shoulder. A few years after Isaac's brutal overthrow a young couple on their way to Seattle become hopelessly trapped in the town of Gatlin after a car accident and a series of comically rearranged road signs leaves them with no other options. Once in the town they become Isaac's main focus, and he must have them dead. For a guy who successfully orchestrated the mass murder of all adults in town he has a surprising amount of difficulty in catching these two outlanders. The acting in this film is nothing to write home about, but the special effects are interestingly done in what looks like animation overlaid onto live action shots. This film is a classic and a must-see for any fan of the horror genre, simply for understanding its many pop culture references. Scary? Maybe not, but definitely worth putting on your Halloween list.

Children of the Corn's Scores


3 skulls

Fantasy (according to IMDB's categorization)

2 talking trees

BigBoyMovieReviews Grand Total